Diane Henderson - TOP TEN THINGS TO DO WHEN YOU ARE GRIEVING AND LOOKING FOR A JOB

Delay the job search as long as possible. One client through her resourcefulness was able to postpone going back to work for 10 months without debting and without touching her savings. This time gave her an opportunity to allow herself to grieve fully, begin the healing process, examine her priorities and purpose in life so that she could attack the job search with more clarity, and more energy.

Understand that grieving is a process. It comes and goes. Just when you think you are back to normal, it will pop up again. Be patient with yourself and expect others to be patient with you also. Everyone grieves differently and the length of time each of us grieves is different. The basic steps of the process are: Shock and Denial, Depression, Anger, Bewilderment, Guilt, Acceptance.

Get more truthful about who you are, what you want out of life, and what your life purpose might be. Grief often opens up new vistas of thoughts about what is important, what legacy you want to leave behind and your own mortality. One client said that her grief situation was the "worst---best" thing that ever happened to her. Had it never happened she would have never made the changes in her life that made her live more purposefully and more passionately. Ask yourself questions like: How would I spend my time if I won the lottery (that is after you took a long vacation)? What am I passionate about? What are my strengths? What are my weaknesses?

Review your past job history and make a list of what you enjoyed about each job and what situations in those jobs brought you great satisfaction? Make another list about what you disliked about each job and brought you dissatisfaction. Is there a theme to the things you enjoyed? How about the things you disliked? As you begin your job search focus on the jobs that call for the skills that you have that bring you joy. It does not matter how great you are in accounting if it bores you to death.

Explore how you can transfer the skills that bring you satisfaction and joy to industries other than those in which you have been working. Brainstorm this with friends or a professional career coach. Often they can make connections about you that you cannot see. Sometimes we have tunnel vision about ourselves especially during grief. A school teacher client was unable to see herself doing anything except teaching. After doing the above exercises her coach was able to help her see how her skills could be transferred into training in corporations, into human relations work, and editing for publishing companies.

Consider taking a temporary job to tide you over while you are healing. If you must bring in some income while you are also grieving, a temporary job that you could do without adding any more stress to your life may be an answer for you. This might be especially important during the depression and anger stages. It would give your life structure as well as bring in some cash.

Rework your resume. Resume rules have changed. It is better to have a two page resume with lots of white space than one page that is crowded and difficult to read. Do not go back more than 10 years and do not put dates on anything except the jobs that you have held. Be sure to do a summary of what your experience and skills are at the top of the resume because people in hiring positions spend about 30 seconds on each resume they receive. Instead of listing your title and your job description, it is very important to list several accomplishments that you had while doing the job. This is difficult for every one to do, but employers want to know what you are capable of accomplishing. To say "I managed 10 people" tells them nothing. To say, "I managed a team of 10 people to exceed production by 20%" really tells them your story and your capabilities.

Start networking. Only about 5% of jobs are landed from newspaper ads. The internet only lands about 15%. Make a list of everyone you know from your dentist to your best friend. Challenge yourself to come up with 200 people. Then let each and every one of them know what type of job that you are searching for and ask them if they know anyone who is doing something similar. Often it is the people who know the people that you know who can get you in touch with people who are hiring in your field. Attend every function open to the public and do not be shy about telling people that you are looking for a job. Job searching is a numbers game. The more people who know who you are and what you are looking for the better your chances become of landing that perfect job.

Do not underestimate yourself. It is difficult to think positively about anything while you are grieving , especially yourself. However, when you are in a job search, you must. You are the one and only person who can sell yourself. Remember that your resume will only get you in the door for the interview. You must shine in the interview. What is different about you that will make them want to hire you over other applicants? If you cannot think of an answer, ask your past co-workers. What can you bring to their particular organization? Practice the answers to these questions until you can talk about them without hesitation or embarrassment.

Hire a job coach. Coaches are invaluable. They will give you honest feedback on your resume. They will role-play interview situations. They will help you learn from your interviews. They will help keep your spirits up if the going gets tough. They will understand that your grief process may be interfering with your job search, and help you work around it. They will help you think of creative ways to expand your search as well as help you explore ways that you can transfer your skills from one industry to another. Two ways to find a coach are on referral lists at www.Coachu.com and www.CoachFederation.org. It is possible to find a coach who will work with you on a reduced fee or on a pro bono basis if necessary for a short period of time.

This list was created by Diane Henderson, Life Coach. www.DianeHenderson.net. She can be reached at 252.337.6387 or coachhenderson@earthlink.net. This list can be reprinted and shared in any fashion as long it is not for profit. For use in a profit situation please get permission from Ms. Henderson.